Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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