I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
