I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
