Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
