Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
this hospital has no fireball
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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