Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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