it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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