I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
