it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
