I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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