You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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