He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
false alarm. still invincible.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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