??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have post one night stand depression
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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