This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
