just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
her facebook's as public as her vagina
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
