She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
