He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
