Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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