Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
