I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
