Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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