my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
