I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize