Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
