We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
People with herpes should wear stickers.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
