too bad you live with your parents still
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
