A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
this just has baby written all over it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
