She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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