Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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