counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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