The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you had me at cake vodka
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
