too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
