I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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