It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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