Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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