I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize