i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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