we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
