I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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