so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
