You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
