The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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