Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
