If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
