I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize