The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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