I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Are we still banned from the library?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
