I wanna passion pit in your ass
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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