if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
