Three words: puerto rican gang bang
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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