I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
