Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
