Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
