hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
