Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
