I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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