is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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