They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
