if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
