he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
