Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
