I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
