my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
