Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
